life in Uganda

I have two months left here in Uganda before the institute ends. That seems shockingly close. I feel like I just got settled, learned a little Luganda, making friends, understanding life a little better. I want to see all of you people back home, but I want you to come here so I don't have to leave. Can you all just do that for me? That would be great, thanks. You would love it.

What is life like here?

Well, the sun rises and sets every day here at pretty much the same time and in the same place. The sun is always up by 7 am and down by about the same time. Equator life revolves around the sun.

Before the sun is rises, you begin to hear all of creation stir. The chickens are calling, the oxen are mooing, the cicadas start to sing. The sun is generally a beautiful orange color when it first comes up. Not long after the sun is up, you hear the kids heading off to school for the day. They are all dressed in their royal blue uniforms and not long after arriving at school you hear drumming and excited kids singing to begin the day.

I am out of bed, getting dressed and washing my face before breakfast. I look in on Valerie (my roommate, love her!) to see if she is up yet. I head up to breakfast with a few schoolmates-Jenny, Collin and Medie. We are usually eating bread, sometimes its frozen, sometimes thawed and I decide whether or not I'm eating that, or ramen noodles for breakfast.

I head back to my little three room banda and finish getting ready, the usual, doxy so I don't get malaria, happy pills and vitamins, brush teeth and put on make up if I have time.

Head to class and have quick study of the chronological Bible before jumping into the day's topic. About an hour and a half in, I either desperately need to pee or I start to fall asleep. It's a lot of sitting for long stretches, and I'm still not used to it. We break at 10:30 for tea time, which is milk tea, and a snack. Then back to finish class until lunch which is at 1. Lunch is at 1 because the African way of telling time is different. The sun comes up at 7(or 1 in African time), so midday is actuallyw hen the sun is overhead, therefore, lunch is at 1 instead of 12.

Our class is small, only about 13 people. We have covered such topics as worldview, fear, racism, Old and New Testament, counseling, the Fatherhood of God, Biblical man/womanhood, suffering, child rearing, and hell, just to name a few. God has changed me in so many ways and challenged me more than I thought possible through this institute. I thought I knew most of this stuff, I went to Christian college, right? No, I only knew in part, and Mukama (God) has revealed Himself to me and showed me the depths of my sin and His amazing love and grace over and over again in each of these areas. He is so good.

If it's not my day to dishes, and its a Monday or a Thursday, I head up to the clinic where the special needs school meets. Brian squeals with joy when I walk through the door and he immediately wants me to get him out of his wheelchair and go outside to look at the “cockos” or chickens. I then help Kakulu to learn how to use his right hand, or help little Allen take her fingers out of her mouth, or make Ivan smile. Then they all pack up to go home and I take Kakulu or Brian to Hasan's house (a special needs equipped home). I head over to Kim, my mentor's home. We sit on her back porch which overlooks just a few trees, some green grass and an enormous blue African sky with dramatic clouds. She lives at the secondary site and from her porch we watch animals like little deer or birds play while I share what God is teaching me, I'm struggling with, or she shares with me about her week. God has met us there many times as He gently reveals things in my life that aren't yet made beautiful through His love. When we see the cows and the sheep with their little ones come by to graze, we know its close to dinner time. As I walk home, the journey is filled with, “Jabale ssabo/nyabo” (well done sir or ma'am), to which they respond, “Kale. Jabale nyabo”, and I say “Kale” (Kale is like yes, it's good, thank you, and ok depending on the context).

If its Wednesday, I try to join the kids in the garden to dig. We use the hoe(which I need to retrieve from them by the way) to clear out the weeds or plant a new crop. I work beside the kids and they ask me all kinds of questions, usually about two things: what is it like in America(do you dig in your garden Auntie? Eee! No? Then how do you get food?) or about God and how to tell if He is speaking to you. If I'm asking the questions I want to know where the kiddo is from, if their family is alive, what they want to be when they leave here, and what to the wrestle with God about. Unless of course we are just somehow teasing each other.

I leave for dinner and then to shower outside with what little daylight is left. Hopefully the water sat out long enough to get somehow warm.

Once the sun goes down, the sounds of African worship start to fill the air with sounds of drumming and children singing to Katonda (the Creator) before evening devotions and worship. Its such a great thing to live around children singing praise to God, in their language and with the specific culture God gave them to worship Him. I love it. I can't believe you all are missing this. Life is just right, not to busy, but not boring. There is time to value what God and all Ugandans value the most, relationship. Time is secondary.

My evenings at home I see the geckos eat the bugs (I wish they would eat more), do homework if we have any and then get to bed at a reasonable time (I CAN go to bet at 10:30, who knew?).

There are challenges, times of laughter and joy as well as sorrow, but it is all under the hand of my Taata (Father) God. He is sooo good, and I am so blessed to be given this opportunity. Thank you all for your prayers and gifts to get me here, and see me through. I couldn't have done any of it without any of you.

hard work

Since I wrote to you last, I have harvested maize by hand in the hot African sun.  I have cleared half of a maize field.  I have helped slash a field for plowing.  I have ox plowed said field-and then let the boys take back over, since my rows weren't straight.  I have also driven the oxen, that was a little easier.  I love hard work, and I love working on a farm.  Who knew I would love it so much?  It is so good to work hard, but work hard in a way that is immediately visible and uncomplicated.  A field needs clearing, so you clear it.  The maize needs harvesting, so you harvest it.  No politics involved, no complicated issues that make your head and heart hurt, trying to find the lesser of two evils.  It is great.  It accomplishes something important, people get to eat.  Kids learn to work hard, and I learn about them.  It's just good.

Wow, it has been an amazing month!  God has done so much, and I don't even know how to tell you about all of it.  Before I left, in a flurry of activity, I had become so busy with holidays, trip prep and all that I didn't spend much quality time with God.  Then, when I got here, although I could see Him at work here, I wasn't able to sense Him.  That's a problem.  What am I doing here if I am not following Him?  and how can you follow someone you've lost track of?  How is He to be God in my life, if I am too busy with myself to really talk to Him?  So I began praying that God would be my God.  I asked Him to send into my life that would keep Him at the center.  Here is how He is answering that prayer:

Our first couple of weeks, we were sharing our testimonies about how we came to know Jesus as Lord and Savior, things we had been through, good and bad.  Then we began talking about worldview, African and Western.  It was so interesting to see how each culture developed it's particular sets of thought and reasons why each set of people think, act, behave.  I knew I had been shaped by my culture, but had no idea just how much, and how much permeates our churches.  Who is shaping our worldview?  Is it this world, or is it the person I like to call God?  Unfortunately, it's not Him as much as I had hoped.

The next week or so we talked about fear, and how our experience, or someone else's, also shapes what we internalize about not only our culture, but just my daily life, and why I do what I do, what fears do I hold that drive me?  We watched a good portion of "The Villiage", which if you have never seen, I highly recommend.  It displayed fear and reality in ways I would have thought of.  It was very challenging.

For the last week, we have been talking about God's kingdom and ours, God's righteousness and ours.  This was very much about what motivates you to do what you do, and who you do it for.  This is where it starts hitting me where I live.  I had lost track of God in trying to prepare to serve Him.  I was working on my kingdom, and with all of the "you are such a great person for doing this thing in Africa" stuff, it was easy to do.  I was pretty full of my own good acts (righteousness) and my own activity (my own kingdom) and didn't really need God for people to think I was a good person and cool and impressive and all that stuff.  The problem with that is, I'm not powerful enough to save myself, and I'm not powerful enough to live a life that is truly honoring to God, however it looks on the outside.
Also during this week we were confronted with Me-ism (putting myself at the center, looking at the world through my lens) and how we judge everyone else based on the standard of me, not of God, or any good thing, just me.  I can't love when I'm busy judging and comparing.
Next we talked about racism and I had to confess that I have prejudice against African American men, based on some of my work experience, some of media experience, but whatever my "justification" is, its still sin.  It is still me judging someone with out knowing them or loving the way I have been loved by Christ. 
We talked about ethnocentrism, how we believe our culture, or our tribe, is the best one and everyone should think, look, act the way I do.  Yikes. On this day, we got with someone of a race different than ours, and we prayed and confessed to one another our sins in the area of racism.  I prayed with an Ugandan woman named Grace.  We prayed, we confessed, and God moved her to sing, "Create in me a Clean Heart", which we sang together.  It was such a beautiful moment, and we committed to be friends after that.  It was a God breathed moment I wouldn't trade for anything.
wait, its not over yet...
Last, but not least, we talked about our idols.  Idols are the things that I use to define my life, that take God's place, to make sure I am getting my needs met in my way, to make me comfortable.  With idols, there is no room for God to be God.  At the end of all of this, we spent time confessing to one another about hurts we have based on being judged for our culture, race, ethnicity.  It was a very humbling time, and God moved in all of us to confess to one another how we had hurt each other, how we have judged each other, and then we asked for forgiveness.  The Spirit of God was there, as we ended with confessing and forgiving.  Keith (one of my teachers) ended with scripture talking about the oneness God desires for His church, how there is no difference, we are all part of one another, and one of the students pointed out that the last thing Jesus asked God for before He was crucified, was that we would all be one in Him.  It was so beautiful, I wish you all could have been there. 
God showed me personally about several of my idols, namely, trying to look like a good person who loves God while I do my own thing, spending money the way I want-simply because I can, living for comfort, swearing-as I like to do too often, and desiring a husband and family more than God-and for my own reasons, not for the kingdom, and not for them-to bless them. 

All of this to say, God has been moving in my heart and mind and soul, and all of your prayers are carrying me though this time of examining my heart, and holding it up His light and love, and not being pleased by what I see. So, after all of this, God showed me a picture.  I was seeing myself, kneeling before Him with all of these worthless things, telling Him about my sins.  He showed me that instead, He was on the throne, I was on His lap with my head on His chest, telling Him my sins, and although He already knew, He was smiling as I was speaking, stroking my hair and giving me the grace I was so in need of.  It is so good to be loved by the King, and the hard work is worth it.

Dance!

I just have to tell you all about tonight.  It was so cool!  If this post had a sound track, it would be David Crowder's song, "Church Music-Dance" on his church music album.  Bty, it is a dance song in EVERY sense. The whole ministry is here for Envisioning and so we had a meal together.  Ever year they choose a different kind of food.  We had western Ugandan food.  There were 9 dishes all together, so there was a TON to eat.  The women sat on the floor and the men sat on the benches.  The men had their hands washed first and ate first.  Back at the ton of food, on my plate was all 9 dishes, including some sauce you put on everything.  My plate was heaped full, think Thanksgiving times 3.  I couldn't finish it all.
Next we took all the mats out and benches out to learn some traditional dancing.  They explained how the dances were usually to other gods, or to the animals themselves, but that we were dancing and singing for Jesus, because He has the victory and we want to thank Him.  What came next was so much fun!  There was all kinds of singing, dancing and clapping.  Everyone was so free and had so much fun.  There was laughing and just joy.  I was smiling and laughing and clapping, and I realized how good God is, to have brought me here.  I was so full of love and joy and laughter, I almost cried, but I just focused on having fun instead.  I could feel God's pleasure in all that we were doing, and how touched His heart was, at His children singing and dancing so freely for Him, in a way that He created in the western Ugandan culture.  I have never felt this kind of joy and freedom in America, to revel in Him in this way.  How great His light shines, especially when we just enjoy Him and celebrate!  We have so much to celebrate in our Lord Jesus, but how often do we do it?  How often do we even let ourselves feel that kind of joy, joy and peace that can only come from knowing that your sins are forgiven, that we are free in Christ, and we have peace in our hearts.  All of this should set us free to dance. Dance, for you are free!

making it

So, I'm here!  I have been here for a week and some change.  I am currently sitting in the dark, because the power is out.  I am blogging by candlelight and hearing the bats in my attic make their noises.  Two nights ago, I had a bat in my room.  I'm not gonna lie, I was calm at first and then screamed when it was flying around after I got out from under my mosquito net.  I could not then return to my room and go back to sleep, and I can always, always sleep.  Here I am, in Africa.  I'm not in Kansas anymore!  I love everything, except the bat in my banda (Luganda for my little cabin type dwelling).
I got to meet up with my family group today, it was a lot of fun.  This family group has about 18 kids, but only 5 girls.  I was talking to them while they did their laundry and when they were done, I asked them if they wanted to touch my hair.  (I was guessing they hadn't ever felt a muzugu's hair before)  They were very excited and loved how soft it was, (I don't have a blow dryer, therefore, no gel, therefore, baby soft hair) and they started putting it into microbraids right away.  I asked them to tell me a story.  One girl named Martha was telling a story about a monkey, a lion, and a chameleon.  The lion was doing all of this work in the monkey's garden, but then the monkey wouldn't share any food with him.  She kept going from english to luganda and the other girls were laughing.  It was so fun just to sit with them and learn about each other.
I'll be seeing my family group about 5 times a week, so it will be great to have meals, devotions and just play time with everyone.  I can't wait to see how God speaks to them, and through them.
Speaking of God, things were so busy before I left, my prayer life went down the drain.  Tonight I was able to spend a lot of time before Him, just praising, confessing, thanking and uplifting, and I can't begin to tell you how great it was to confess my sins and receive His grace.  It was so good to just be close to my Father, and pour out my heart and feel His love and presence. 
God is definitely in this place.  His love is everywhere I look and His name is revered.  One of the classes that graduated a couple of years ago, had a retreat/reunion time this weekend in Kampala.  I was so impressed with what they chose to give their time to.  They got caught up, but more than that, they took time to see how everyone was in their walk with the Lord, and what He is doing in their lives.  They prayed for one another, and looked at all they could do to support each other in what the Father is calling them to.  It was so deep, amazing, and real.  I couldn't help but think of my class reunion, where most people were drinking, and there was a lot of display of "I'm doing such and such, what have you done since high school??"  How amazing would it be if everyone when they got together really cared about how the other was doing more than displaying their accomplishments? 
We are in the midst of "Envisioning" this week, which is a time for all of the New Hope staff, from all over the country to come and focus on what God wants for the coming year.  I look forward to extended times of worship, and getting to know the heart of what this organization is about even more. 
Prayer points:
1.  I am just now starting the course work, and want to do a good job, keeping up, and with serving my family group.
2.  Pray that I would continue to have great time with the Lord, and I wouldn't loose focus because I'm busy.
3.  Pray that I will be a blessing in whatever way God wants to use me here, and that I can be a blessing to those back home in some small way.
4.  Most important, that God would be glorified.

I love and miss you all!  Till next time!

God and Uganda Calling Benefit Concert

So, as the departure date draws nearer (January 2, 2011), I need to raise people who will commit to praying for Uganda, me, and some money to purchase little things like plane tickets. 
Hence, the God and Uganda Calling Benefit Concert! 
Details:
Date: 10/9/10
Time: 6:30-9pm
Location: Venue 515, at 515 Manitou Avenue, Manitou Springs, Colorado
The real deal:
My talented sisters in Christ and closest of friends, Stephanie Pauline will be sharing her music, Moni will emcee, I will share what God has put into my heart with Uganda, and you all will be touched by the Lord while enjoying some light refreshments.  (The counter at Venue 515 will also be selling beverages)
It will be a great night of music, ministry and fun!  Feel free to bring yourself and any of your friends who need something to do on a Saturday night, all are welcome!
I'm so excited to share God's heart with you all, see you there!
You can go to Stephanie's website, listed above, to check out her story, her music, purchase music, and even prepurchase her upcoming music video for "Toy Soldier", as song that has moved not only me, but others-namely some kids in detention centers and residential treatment centers accross the country.  You will be moved straight into the heart of God by listening to her music.  (end of shameless plug) :)

just thoughts

Hi there.  Its becoming more real that I am leaving.  In a month, I'll be out of my apartment.  In 6 weeks, I'll be having a fundraising/information/concert for all of my friends, and in 4 months, I'll be on a plane for a land I've never seen, away from all that I know and love.  I'm so full of excitement, but also fear of the unknown, I love that about new beginnings.  I can't wait to see what God is going to do, and who I'll be after this is all over. 
Tonight I helped friend move back into town, and she kept saying, "I can't believe I'm here.  I feel like its just a trip, and I'll leave soon".  I expect I'll feel much the same when I arrive in Uganda.  I know it will feel like home, I just don't know if it will be right away, or not until it's time for me to go, or will it ever feel like home.  It's good to know that my home is in God's love, which will never leave me or forsake me.  I can rest the full weight of my anxiety and expectation on Him, and not be left wanting.  So good to know.

God's goodness

Well, after much prayer, tears, joy and fear, the time has come to go to Uganda!  I will be arriving there in January, and returning in June of 2011!  I have been accepted into the Institute of Child and Family.  So for my first trip there, I will be allowing God to dig into my heart and mind, revealing things that keep me from Him, keep me from ministering His heart effectively, as well as getting hands on experience working with kids orphaned by a variety of circumstances.  How great He is to care for the ones who are left with out home and love!  This is the God I serve!  The One who gave His life for the least, which is me, you, and everyone else on the planet, ever.  I am so loved by this God, whose name is Love, and who paid the highest price for me, how could I not give Him everything?  How could I not share this hope of love and home with anyone who is taking in breath?  Despite this Love, I don't share Him like I could, but I want to, Lord give me boldness to share Your Love with those who don't yet know You.
Okay, these are the questions I keep getting asked, so I'll save you the trouble and answer them ahead of time:
What about my job? 
I will apply for a leave of abscence for the time I'll be gone, so I have a job when I return.  I just don't know how long I'll be back in the states for, which may make it hard for them to accept me back.  Pray that God would reveal to me what needs to happen in this area.

What about my apartment?
I'm not keeping it, I plan on living with friends when I return, that way I don't have to pay rent or find someone to live in my place while I'm gone.
Also, I'm praying about leaving my place early, and staying with friends until I leave to save money.  Please pray with me about that.

What about Poser, the cat?
He needs a home!  Anyone looking for a handsome, purring, soft, dog-like sometimes bad cat that will sit on your lap while you watch tv, sleep with you at night and then bite you with no notice?  :)  If interested, let me know! 

Those are the basics.  Feel free to ask me any questions you'd like to!