For His glory alone...

Wow, sorry to those of you trying to follow my blog to keep up with what is going on with Uganda, but here is what has been goin' on.

I prayed, along with my loved ones, during the month of July, to see what God was saying. I was starting to think that maybe it was just me, and maybe God didn't really want me to go. What came out of that was that no one had any red or yellow lights about it, and that I needed to go on a short term trip. That made perfect sense to me!

In late August, I began taking the Perspectives course, which prepares you to share the gospel cross culturally. (BTY- God led a former alumni of Perspectives to pay for someone who was going through the class, and I was selected! Praise God!) Lesson number 2 is about the glory of God. The thing that hit home to me, is that just because I want to go, that does not necessarily mean I am called. So I prayed, a lot.

I met IAC's missions team, and told them about my journey with God and what has led me to believe that I am called to Uganda. I told them (see post #1) my story. I asked them not to just pray about whether or not I am called, but asked them to pray about what God gets out of this, how His name will be made great as a result, and if they couldn't see that, then I didn't want to go. They felt that it was already evident that God's name would be praised by this venture, which is the most important thing. It is so easy to loose track of who we are serving. It is so easy to believe that we are serving God, when we may be serving our own sense of self, adventure, or just our own kingdom making ourselves look good. There was a point when I was asking God and myself, "isn't just enough that I want to go?". I know the answer now, and it is a no. It's no if I am purporting to be going under the direction of God. So what's the point? The point for me is that it is easy to build a kingdom for myself and call it God's will. I get a lot of praise and pats on the back just for wanting to go, so it would be be easy to go and believe that God wanted that, when all that was really going on was me wanting some adventure, and some credit. Yuck. If any of you see this in me, feel free to show me my shortcoming.

After a lot of prayer, I do feel this is what God wants, but my pride is ever lurking, waiting to take the credit for something that is all the Lord. One of the things that has been a confirmation for me is my dear friend Moni, reminding me of a conversation we had not too long before I began to feel called to Uganda. We were talking about our lives and our future, and I said that I never thought I would go on a missions trip, as I felt I had enough work to do here.

Anyway, thanks for listening in on the life lesson I learned recently, but the missions team encouraged me to do some things: start serving with refugees here in the Springs, get more info on New Hope Uganda, and begin by going to New Hope's 4 month mission institute that prepares you to be a missionary, no matter where you are going to serve. I think that is all sound advice.
The more I learn about New Hope Uganda, the more I see God at work there.

What I know now is that the 4 month institute begins in January and July, so here's hopin' for July!

I'll keep you all posted! Thank you all for your prayers, they are so precious to me.

GO!

After the last post, I am sure some of you are wondering if I am still planning on going to Uganda, and the answer is a resounding yes! Even with the momentary distraction of a brief relationship, I was still planning on going, and nothing has happened to change that, although I did seriously question it, and for more reasons that just a relationship. However, since that time, being in prayer, asking God if He still wanted me in Uganda, I heard a loud, resounding, "GO!", so that I will. I will keep praying for clarity on the details of that command, and of course, keep you all posted. Keep praying!!

It takes time

This process takes time, and I knew it would, but its hard when you just don't hear anything. I wrote to the Diocese in N. Uganda in October, and I haven't heard anything back. I wrote my pastor and email, and his reponse was, "its Africa, things move slower there and they may not have access". So, I need to continue being patient.

In other news, one of the ministries I had been looking into going with, WorldVenture, recently updated their website for a Uganda based ministry, Hope Alive!. I previously had thought this was not a good fit, but after learning more, it seems to be very close to what I want to do. they would have an opening for me to go in the summer of 2010, which really isn't that far off, and would give me time to raise support. Check out what they are up to, hopealiveafrica.org

I really want to go to Uganda. I feel very called to go there, but now I have met somebody here, and they so far, are not feeling called to go. I don't know what God will do, or what He is asking of me, and I don't know enough about the future to know if and how this person will be a factor in the future. But only God and time will tell what the future holds for all of these questions and wonderings. Its funny how when your life changes, even a little bit, how you start to question other things you were sure of. Pray for me, that God will show me what He desires, that I would know His thoughts about the future, and not waiver from that, regardless of the cost. He is Lord, not me.

Go ahead...

I am so excited! Last week, Rev. Ken wrote to the Diocese in Northern Uganda (DNU) and I wrote to Willy Akena, who has a blog for the DNU, and both said that I could come!! They did say that they don't have any money to support me, which I figured, honestly, I didn't even think that would have been a possibility. So they said we could start getting to know each other better.

Rev. Ken said that he would introduce me to a couple who was on the mission field in Africa for a lot of years to get information from them about what kinds of questions to be asking and information to look for.

I was praying that God would open a door, just so that I knew I was still on the right track, and He was faithful as always to answer my prayer. I'm so grateful to be in service of this mighty God who knows my name, and sees the plight of the poor and needy and holds the whole universe together without loosing track of anything. Thank you all for your prayers! Keep it up!!

What's up with Uganda you ask?

Just as an update, I met a Ugandan Bishop a couple of weeks ago, and he gave me his contact information. I emailed him and he invited me to come and work with his organization,(which is not working with the kids affected by the war) and said I could stay with him, and even offered to take me to Northern Uganda to meet the Anglican Bishops there. Somewhat exciting, except that he seemed to really want me to work with his mission more than help me get to the place I feel led to.

I have been working with my Pastor, who is a priest in the Anglican church actually, to try to get to Northern Uganda. He has sent an email to a bishop there, and may even know someone else there.

I resent some emails I mentioned before in the "irons in the fire" post, but haven't heard back from any of them yet. Time to keep praying!

waiting in the wings

This is all so new and different for me. It's an interesting thing having a call and a passion in your heart, but no visible way yet seen into the future to live it out. But, I guess the living it out part isn't really true, I can always live out the passion God has given me. I can continue to pray for the Acholi and others affected by the war, I can serve my community here, I can continue putting irons in the fire, and I can wait with a heart full of faith instead of fear. That feels like a much better use of my mental energy instead of pining away for the future. (can you tell I am just letting my mind run here??!!??) That of course is all much easier said than done. I understand this is a time of preparation, of waiting on the Lord, of looking only to Him to accomplish what I cannot. I can't help but get excited and nervous and anxious even, wanting go, wanting to know what's next, wanting to see how God is going to bring it all about. And, after that subsides for the moment, there is the wating again. It's odd though, as much as I want to see things come together quickly, I feel this odd peace, a peace that passes understanding, if you will :), and it is so great. Its this great peace from the Lord that says, "You are called, and it is coming, just continue to wait on me, peace, you are doing what I ask at this time." And so I wait with a full heart, not impatient, but axiously (the good kind) awaiting God's revalation. Ahh, how sweet it is. God, you are so truely good. I love you.

Talking with the folks

Well, I just shared with my folks the entirety of the situation in Uganda, and so now they know why I want to go (not sure they completly understand why I would want to do that...). Its kind of a hard thing, preparing your folks for something they would never want you to do, but it is also really cool to realize that you have the kind of parents who want you to do what God wants, even if it isn't easy, and that you have the kind of parents who raised you to care deeply about the things that God cares about. They didn't discourage me from going, neither did they say that I absolutely should go, but they agreed to pray for me, and since this is all still new to them, I think that is quite a lot. I'm so grateful to know that I have parents who will pray for me every day while I'm gone, and will support me in any way they possibly can, despite any fears they may have. I wish everyone had parents like mine.

Mom and dad, when you read this, know that I love you, and I am so blessed to have two parents who love me like you do, I don't know what I'd do with out you, your the best. Your daughter, Jenny