fullness

I am so full of so many things right now.  I am full of gratefulness that I am so loved by my Katonda, Creator God.  I am so full of joy that I was able to spend almost 6 glorious months gazing on the face of God in Uganda.  I am so full of joy to be home, sleeping in air conditioning and having hot showers and being surrounded by old friends with hearts full of love to have me home.
I am also full of sadness when I think about all that I love and miss in Uganda.  I'm full of so many emotions its hard to talk about them most of the time.  I find myself wishing a lot that I am other than how God made me.  It would be so much easier not to be so full of, well, life.  I am convinced that this abundant life I have been given in Christ is to be full of many things, not just an abundance of good things, although it is.  Its supposed to be full of all of life, glory, sadness, laughter, joy, pain, sorrow, love, wonder, etc...  Sometimes, we get so full, its hard to speak.
I'm full of awe at all God did in me during my time in Uganda.  I'm so embraced in His love, in ways I can't quite put words to most of the time.
So many of you have so many questions for me, and most of the time, I don't know how to answer.  I'm getting words, but it is slow.
How can I describe such beauty as I have been given in so many people and places and words and sights for such a long period of time?
How can I tell you of the amazing way the former child soldiers worship at Kobwin?
How can I tell you about how much I miss the sound of my boys pounding in the metal posts to play football (soccer) on Sunday afternoon?
How can I tell you about my girls running around laughing?
How can I tell you about worshiping in two languages, two-yet somehow single hearts of love being poured out to such a great God as mine? 
In what way can I make you understand the privilege of gazing long and deep into God's heart for everything that concerns us as  humans?
Conversely, can I express the joy I feel at seeing my godchildren play around me and seeing their smiles?
Do you know how good it is to see God's glory expressed in the varying shades of green in wide open spaces reaching up Pikes Peak?
How do you spell out the goodness of people confessing how they prayed for you, loving you on their knees?
How comforting it is to hear my mom's calm voice on the phone more frequently?
The power of those who have known you for so long, loving you and helping you process, yet helping you be present where you are?
All of these things are invaluable.  All of them precious.  All of them, beyond the words that I have at the moment.
I don't know if I've ever been so full. Its so wonderfully hard and good at the same time.
Thank you for listening, for loving me, and for praying for me and with me. I have pearls and diamonds to share with you, you'll just have to wait to see them revealed.  In the meantime, please keep sharing the treasure you are with me, its one of the great things that fills me up.